Quincy Beaumont and Dr. Leo Kwelch walked quietly side by side through the narrow passages of thorny sagebrush lining the borders of their small parish. Neither had much to say following their brief but fiery debate concerning the factual number of private parts a woman possessed. Quincy was determined to win the podium, claiming that, like a chicken, a woman possessed two units within her bosom, not one single breast. Dr. Kwelch vigorously opposed that position; he believed that a woman had but only three private parts — just one more then a man’s two, as opposed to four, which was simply a preposterous notion in his mind.

The two men had decided that the point could endure further research and left it at that. Now, as they strolled quietly through the woods at sunset, they heard a rising cry of audible distress in the fern patch afar. A muffled rustle sent shivers down Quincy’s spine, and Leo calmed him with a soft pat on the nape. Slowly from the small patch rose the town beauty, Anastasia Goose, stepdaughter to the stern but likeable steel worker Diego Santos, a man who carried his name with flamboyant pride. Anastasia’s appeal was heightened by the setting sun, which, in its natural brilliance, exploded the silhouette of her ruffled evening attire, dramatically prefacing a physical presence known to few other women in the village.

“Over the next ridge,” she squalled, “there lies a barn!” Her breath was fleeting and Quincy began to fall into a bit of a panic. Dr. Kwelch, like any good physician, retained his bedside manner and calm methodical approach: “Who resides in this barn, Anastasia?” he inquired. “I don’t know what it is, doctor,” she gasped. Quincy murmured from behind them, “I’ve heard of this barn,” his voice shaky like a beaten goat. “What resides there is rock” — he paused and turned his face to the setting sun — “and roll.” 

This is a short dream I had after falling asleep to the album Eyelid Movies by electric/shoegaze/soul-pop couple Phantogram. Hailing from Saratoga Springs, NY, Phantogram write and record their music in a barn called Harmony Lodge, producing some kick-ass jams that will lull you into a sweet zone-out and hearken back to a romantic period when people were also kick-ass and jam was popular on bread. Josh Carter and Sarah Barthel, along with their rural production methods, are surely mysterious like my dream of Quincy Beaumont and Dr. Leo Kwelch. But God willing, more rock ‘n’ roll will come from these two in the future. By Will Tunstall

Many of us here on the East Coast think that the only place real hip-hop can come from is the East Coast. The west coast is all about gangsta rap, the Dirty South is all about gold grills, and the Midwest… well, the Midwest ain’t as hard as NYC or Philly or DC, right? But as we all know, a stereotype’s a stereotype, no matter where it comes from, and long-running independent Oakland, CA, crew Souls Of Mischief prove that with their fine return to form, Montezuma’s Revenge. Produced by Prince Paul of De La Soul and Gravediggaz fame, Montezuma’s Revenge was put together the old-fashioned way — with SOM alumni A-Plus, Phesto, Opoi, Tajai, and Domino joining Paul to hole up together north of San Francisco for a month with no outside distractions.

The result is organic, electric, and hard-hitting, as evidenced by opening track “Won!” which combines crackling guitar, soul samples, and sizzling scratches from Paul. It might not be the grimy street rap that the East Coast is famous for, but the honesty on offer on tracks like the relationship analysis “Postal” makes up for any perceived lack of authenticity. “Tour Stories” combines moody keyboards with the crew’s globetrotting reminiscences, before an eerie bass line on “Proper Aim” allows Souls Of Mischief’s four skilled MCs to flex their battle-rap muscle. And “You Got It,” “Hiero HQ,” and “Poets” showcase Prince Paul’s ability to marry quirky beats and off-kilter samples with tongue-lashing lyrics, while “Fourmation” injects a much-needed dose of humor into hip-hop’s standard braggadocio.

The rest of Montezuma’s Revenge continues with a similar west coast left-field aesthetic: fire-breathing verses, playful beats, and a constant seesaw act between sober intensity and Golden Era optimism. Many critics consider the album to be Souls Of Mischief’s grand comeback, but let’s be honest — these west coast torchbearers never went anywhere. Their first and most successful album, ’93 Til Infinity, may have boasted a more prescient title than we thought: based on the strength of Montezuma’s Revenge, these guys might just be around forever. By Nick McGregor

When I was a little boy, everyone told me singing was my destiny. But I lost hope. Then, when I saw him walk into the studio, everything became what it was before. He didn’t know what else to say — “cut the mic!” — as his voice came over the studio speakers like God. Just the truth. He wanted me to perform smooth, the way that would later make me famous.

The Chicago duo of Tim Kelley and Christa Meyer, otherwise known as Puerto Muerto, have created a strong union of marriage and art on Drumming for Pistols, their newest full-length. They mine precious jewels, while Kelley hammers gruff poetic confidence into his work and utilizes his nonchalance to push his wife’s mezzo-soprano out of her mind and into the record books. As such, her quavering, powerful voice is the powerhouse of the record. Along with instrumental experimentation, worthy guest stars, and a steady hand from producer Jamie Carter (TV On The Radio), Puerto Muerto manages to stay true to their bittersweet nomenclature throughout 13 far-ranging tracks.

There are a lot of dramatic elements on Drumming For Pistols. Biblical inspiration appears on “Tamar,” a dirty yet celebratory rocker pulled straight from the Old Testament. Cinematic and literary inspiration also abounds, but doesn’t outweigh the simple nature of schizophrenic music development. The severity of subject matter on tracks like “Arcadia” may have altered other artists’ paths into disturbing tunnels, but Puerto Muerto feeds off that energy before dropping into “Little Recourse,” a ballad straight from the battlefield’s dozing trenches of early morning. Both Meyer and Kelley possess infinite talent as individuals, but it’s fortunate for the rest of us that they teamed up in love and harmony to form the singular Puerto Muerto. By Will Tunstall

As the winds of change blow from an obsession with bubbly 1980s electronica to disaffected 1990s alternative rock, the British group Soulsavers have released their supremely dark and haunting third album, Broken, at just the right time. After working out their fascination with downbeat electronica, Rich Machin and Ian Glover have shifted their focus to live instrumentation, and made the wisest choice of all when they enlisted former Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan to take charge of Broken.

Lanegan’s whiskey-soaked pipes fit in perfectly with the Soulsavers ethos, which is quickly established by the melancholy pianos of opener “The Seventh Proof.” But supercharged guitars and driving drums liven up the evocative “graveyard flowers” of “Death Bells,” before down ‘n’ dirty beats add cinematic scope to “Unbalanced Pieces,” which features another star-studded guest spot from Faith No More’s Mike Patton. Lanegan then covers Will Oldham’s teary-eyed “You Will Miss Me When I Burn,” before Oldham returns the favor by singing the Lanegan-penned high-plains drifter lament “Sunrise.” And “Some Misunderstanding” has a weeping blues feel to it that’s starkly different from Soulsavers’ past antiseptic work.

Ultimately though, the dark atmospherics of Broken begin to weigh on the listener, especially after the third six-minute-plus track, “Rolling Sky.” But Machin and Glover, the core duo of Soulsavers and the two men responsible for all of the album’s production, do inject subtle flashes of gospel on “All The Way Down” and spaghetti Western theatrics on “Shadows Fall.” Long story short, if you’re looking for the perfect way to soundtrack the cold, grey end of winter, Soulsavers offer you just the self-pitying quicksand you need on Broken. -NM