PICK OF THE MONTH

The Sopranos >> MUSIC FROM THE HBO ORIGINAL SERIES - PEPPERS AND EGGS. COLUMBIA 2000

When I got da freakin’ package, I was a lil’ pissed off. Last time I got sumthin’ like dis, it was a crap CD from a band of douchebags nobody in deir right freakin’ minds would listen ta. But dese two CDs? Fuhgeddaboudit! I played it for da boyz, an we dought it was good for “dis ding of ours.” We dacided ta give it a pass to our family and crews. Da ding is, it’s like a soundtrack to our freakin’ lives, capeche?

Not for nuttin’ but, I nevah was inta dat Sting jerk. I’m in da demolition and garbage bidness, not savin’ rainforests for freaks wit’ plates in deir mout’s. Deir’s dis Police remix of “Every Breath You Take/ Peter Gunn” from dat Pink Pantha guy, Henry Mancini. Dis band Pigeonhed does “BattleFlag,” sumthin’ I would’a danced ta back in da Latin Casino days. Dat old cat RL Burnside is sumthin’ else, and Otis Redding—now dat guy could belt outta tune. Den, when I dought it can’t get any betta, dat freakin’ hump Nils Lofgren, from Da Boss’s band, comes in croonin’ a tearjerka’ of a ditty, “Black Books.”

Now, I don't know who dese moes dink dey are, what’s deir name? Cake? Marone! What kinda name is dat? Whad are dey, a bunch a fruits? Dey do a song ‘bout da almighty himself, Mr. Francis Albert Sinatra. I swear, if I eva see dem California half-fags, I’ll make ‘em eat a shit cake. But den da magic returns wit’ Ol’ Blue Eyes singin’ “Baubles, Bangles, and Beads.” Rest his soul, dat man. My Anisette and cigar hasn’t tasted da same wit’oud Da Chairman.

Da second CD is full a goombahs—a bunch a English pricks. Elvis Costello, The Kinks, an’ dat junkie rat bastid, Keith Richards. How can a dead guy do a live version of “Make No Mistake?” I dought dat Bob Dylan was freakin’ dead too. Jesus, have ya seen him lately? Anywho, “Return to Me” is a good song from dat geezer considerin’ he looks like he came outta da grave ta record it.

But here’s da whole cannoli in a freakin’ nutshell: It’s da Italians who make Peppers & Eggs special. Da lovely and talented Cecila Bartoli takes me back ta da mudda’land wit’ “Viveldi: Sposa son disprezzata.” Lorenzo Jovanotti, geez whadda voice, made me cry on “Piove” and Uncle Junior, dat guy can sing for an old bag a wind. His dune will make ya spill da coffee beans right outta ya’s ‘buccas. Buy dis CD or else.

By Shreddy Cappuccino—Back from da witness protection program...- By Tim Donnelly