ESCAPE VELOCITY Brushing Up On The Finer Points Of Physics In Mainland Mexico By Greg Tindall
In order to escape the gravitational
pull of a celestial body and launch into outer space, a rocket needs to
obtain a minimum speed. This concept is known as “Escape Velocity.” Too fast, and the rocket burns millions of
gallons of fuel unnecessarily. Too slow, and the rocket does a Wiley Coyote,
crashing back to Earth.
It’s a fine line, one that’s better erred
on the side of using too much gas. Nowadays, NASA has refined its
ventures into outer space to better conserve taxpayer resources, but it wasn’t
always that way. Dozens of good men and women from countries around the world paid the
ultimate price for the sake of space exploration.
And this has what to do with East Coast surfing, you ask? Did some freak
swell come into Canaveral Pier while the space shuttle was launching?
OK, you got me. What exactly do rocket
scientists, surfers, and astronauts have in common? Well, you’d
have a pretty good idea if you’ve left Lake Atlantic already this summer and made it to
Mainland Mexico. Then you would have returned home with an innate sense of Escape Velocity.
But even if your late-summer plans don’t include a trip to Mexico in the
making, here’s a quick tour of what’s been going on.
Toeing that thin line so as to reach a
minimum speed and just barely beat the gravitational tug of the tube is what those sandbars in
Mexico have been all about lately. Here at home on the East Coast, when we’re lucky enough to be put
in such a position, we’re almost in too much control. You can stomp on the tail to force a
stall. You can arm-bar the wall to slow your approach. But try that BS in Mainland Mexico and
you’re likely to get a bit more than your head dipped. You’ll skip right past being some kind
of contortionist and become an instant piece of human origami.
To help avoid that fate, think it
through. Picture a perfect barrel peeling from the view of a
helicopter cockpit. Watch how the sliver of the lip bends exponentially. Now
rotate that view 90 degrees, from the standpoint of the beach. Get a feel for how
fast it’s moving. Controlling your speed will be the key. The drop is gonna
heave, but the wall isn’t really racing all that fast. You’ll need to make a clean transition
between the two. Drawing a wide, arched line in the wave will have to replace tail-stomp and
arm-bar stalls. Continue with that visual.
Reposition yourself another 90 degrees,
out in the lineup this time, at sea level, which is the best indicator of
depth. That’s it. That’s clearly where you want to be, reaping the benefit of Mexico’s
finest.
But before all you do is mind-surf in
the morning and call it a session, get on it. Because slice it, dice it, flip it, rotate it...
cross-sectionally analyze the way these waves break across the Mexican
sandbars however you want. It all comes down to just going. Making that drop
and peeling
that sliver off is a trial and error process. The drop is what gets you in
touch with Escape Velocity, and the sandbars of Mainland Mexico are where you go to get your
PhD.
Of course, you may
need the right quiver to get to that level. May I suggest a vacuum-packed
step-up, a mini-gun, and a proper rhino-chaser, all made by quality East Coast
craftsmen designing boards specifically for Mainland Mexico’s heaving tubes? That way, maybe,
finally, after years of proper training, having passed all the prerequisites, you can
respond with confidence, if ever questioned:
“Well, yes. In some respects, I am a
rocket scientist.”
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