|
I’m five-foot-six. Already well into my thirties, I
came to grips long ago that that’s as tall as I’m ever gonna get. So I know a
thing or two about being the short guy. Napoleonic as it may seem, the short
guy often has to shout his claims to be heard. In the same vein, as the “bastard
stepchild” of the SoCal-governed surf industry/culture, ESM and East Coasters in general wear our achievements on our
sleeve… well, their achievements, I
should say, namely the men and women representing the Right Coast on the ASP
World Tour. After CJ Hobgood won the 2001 World Title, Eastern Surf printed up shirts and stickers and cover blurbs and
house ads emblazoned with shameless braggadocio, “WE’RE TOPS NOW!” comparing
our 15 combined Men’s and Women’s World Tour titles to Cali’s five. It was a
lot of fun, fucking with the big boys like that. The rivalry was and is
healthy, but don’t forget that the short guy’s always got a chip on his shoulder
that helps him transcend that decidedly low road of American surf chic.
Cocoa Beach, FL’s, Robert Kelly Slater is the 2010
ASP World Champion, for the tenth time, and he’s the greatest surfer ever and
all that. But we only have three competitors challenging the 2011 tour as compared
to five Californians. And seeing as Kelly may very well take a powder after Oz,
are we really expecting the Hobgoods to carry the weight at all the rights and
lefts reeling down the Dream Tour docket?
After all, our Oldest City ironman, Gabe Kling, headed
into the 2010 finale, the Billabong Pipe Masters In Memory Of Andy Irons, with 17,163
ASP World Tour points, and Hawaiian darling Dusty Payne was the only guy able
to vault him. Gabe doesn’t suck at Backdoor. He smoked local draw Kalani Chapman
in Round One, 11.10 – 5.4, but lost to another Hawaiian goofyfoot, Fred Patacchia,
in Round Two, 13.40 – 8.53. With everyone name-dropping Payne left and
right on Facebook, you know what happened next: Dusty re-qualified in the last
seconds of his Round Three heat against Mick Fanning while Gabe was sent back
to the minors — for the fourth time. Nothing left to say there.
On the other side of the draw (and safe for the ’11
tour), CJ Hobgood fell to eventual Pipe Masters champ Jeremy Flores, 17.1
– 14, despite packing a no-grab, claim-worthy 8.5 bomb (Ceej also made
the backside roundhouse cool again, we should add). Meanwhile, twin brother
Damien outsurfed Brazilian rookie Jadson Andre in Round Three, 12.5 –
9.1, fell to Jordy Smith and Kieren Perrow in Round Four, and… well, got dicked
from there.
The Heats On Demand don’t show it, but with 30
seconds left in his Round Five heat against Dane Reynolds, Damo was left
needing a 6.07 as announcers cut to a break, totally overplaying the drama,
“Did he get it?” A solid tuberide and three turns somehow didn’t get him the
nod. Even Slater himself was heard in the commentator’s booth, “Are you kidding
me?” But as Occy later said on the webcast, “Dam’s not the kind of guy to storm
the judges’ tower.” The loss, 11.23 – 10.84, is kind of a moot point
anyway. Dam’s safe for 2011, he’s shredding harder than ever, now sits at 12th
in the rankings, and his family is growing healthier and happier by the critter.
But Damo’s slighting is a symptom of a greater
problem. As I discussed with a colleague this morning, Dane Reynolds doesn’t
need small-time come-ups like that. Save the idolatry and don’t force a crown
on him that he doesn’t need, doesn’t deserve, or may not even want. Like the
Pipe Masters title.
Put it this way: Dane murked Taylor Knox in the
quarters like a sniper, double-tap to the dome for only two waves ridden
— one featuring a 9.33 tuberide to six-foot slob grab (which he actually
tried to fucking land), the kind of aerial only Dane can do, and kid was outta
there. But in the following semifinal against Kieren Perrow, who bagged a 9.7
first ride, Dane didn’t catch a wave until — surprise — 4:20, a
solid barrel followed by the kind of turn only Dane can do. It only scored 6.83,
but the point was made. And the point is this:
The East Coast has 19 world titles to the west
coast’s five, and we have the current 10-time world champion. So, in a way,
yeah… we’re still tops now. I say to the ESM marketing department and anyone else barking East Coast pride — make
them T-shirts, print them bumper stickers, and enjoy it while we got it.
Because the west coast is holding the best surfer in
the world right now.
For full results,
photos, and videos, visit www.ASPWorldTour.com
|
