|
In all boardsports there are three key points to
performing any good aerial feat — big or small, inverted or rotated,
grabbed or flipped or otherwise: The pop. The tweak. And the stomp.
Likewise, there are three things that immediately
come to mind whenever the ASP World Tour goes to Brazil every year:
1) Waves
will be weird.
But in 2011, weird is good. Onshore, wedging, rampy…
all the stuff that makes for great gymnastics. Cyber-lips everywhere were
flapping about Kelly Slater delivering “the biggest alley-oop ever” in a
warm-up freesurf to the Billabong Rio Pro. The frame grab used on all the big
mags’ websites was impressive enough, but the clip had been “removed by user”
for so long I stopped caring. We eventually found it (www.youtube.com/watch?v=C67VYiSQb_k)... But by that time I cared more about the airs Kelly was firing off
in heats at Barra da Tijuca. Not many, surprisingly. Kelly snapped and climbed
and floated and pig-dogged all the way to an ultimate Round 3 demise via Bobby
Martinez, 14.50 – 14.10, for the defending World Champ’s worst result
since the 2010 Billabong Pro J-Bay — equal-13th — earning the
former frontrunner a two-spot trickle down the ratings.
CJ Hobgood provided some aerial assistance in Round 2,
scoring a 6.37 for an alley-oop, but it was his hack attack to slobby
finish on Aproador’s lefthanders against tour rookie Julian Wilson that granted
CJ the highest heat total of the event at that point, 16.50, despite Julian
throwing down every backhand trick in the book, including a bullshit backhand
blow-tail and another equally ludicrous varial. “That’s what makes those heats
fun to surf and exciting to watch,” Hobgood said. “I have so much respect for
Julian (Wilson). These kids can come back so easily no matter what scores they
need.”
CJ’s glory was short-lived, however, as he went down
to Adriano de Souza, 15.93 - 11.87, in Round 3, which brings us to our second
point.
2) Dudes
will be claiming it hard.
Last week, Macho Man Randy Savage climbed the ropes
to that great ring in the sky, but not before leaving a legion of claimers in
his wake. And I’m not talking about any former-wrestling rivals. Hyper-machismo
and Brazilian surfing are virtually inseparable. And coming off their recent
decimation of cool-guy pros everywhere at the Nike 6.0 Lowers Pro (their
victory flag planted by winner Miguel Pupo), which had lineups the world over
echoing the same sentiment — “How ‘bout them Brazilians?” —
naturally, the chest-thumping here would reach a new atmosphere of Idamandom. It began in CJ’s aforementioned
Round 3 draw against Adriano, the fiery local’s constant skyward reckoning
inspiring CJ to claim a so-so 6.87. Californian Pat Gudauskas even went so far
as to self-holla’ an ugly double grab later on. But neither Taj nor Parko nor
Kerr nor Julian claimed a damn thing despite ushering in a new era of high-performance
slickery in this event. And those Aussienauts collectively made a crucial point
that might have been left off their score sheets: Amazing surfing claims
itself.
3)
Someone’s gonna be furious.
Remember back in 1994 when no-nonsense Floridian
warhorse Todd Holland was pelted with rocks by psychotic South American fans
and had to be escorted by police to an emergency flight out of the country
after hassling and beating a local surfer for a World Tour paycheck? It
probably didn’t help that Todd was known for rocking a Confederate-era beard
and rebel flag on his boards at the time. But violence? Really? What is this, futbol? I’m just glad it’s the Aussies
who got the beef this time. You will be hearing about Owen Wright’s decidedly
unfair lowball against Adriano’s floater — which was big, but a floater
nonetheless — for years. Count on it. Facebook is already rallying the
mob to demonize the maneuver. (Damn, just when I was starting to learn how to
do proper backside floaters, and they’re gonna be lame again.)
Meanwhile, the remaining East Coast contingent kinda
slipped through the Billabong Rio Pro cracks unnoticed. Engaged as Dane
Reynolds’ stunt-double for the third time, Cory Lopez actually won his first
round affair and it took Taj Burrow’s perfect backhand surgery to oust Cory in the first heat of the day for Round 3. If it
would’ve been maxed-out Gulf Coast barrels, Cory could’ve put together a decent
section for …Lost Across America 3. But
he was up against a title contender in an ASP World Tour heat. “Cory was thinking
barrels and I was thinking backhand tags,” Taj explained. “They’re such quick
stationary little banks out there so to be honest I was a bit spooked because Cory
knew it was his chance to get barreled. I didn’t want to leave him there for a
half-hour all alone. I just had to battle him on the peak.”
Damien Hobgood dealt with the wonkiest waves in Dream
Tour memory by adapting to the rips, wedges, bowls, and bends typical of
Floridian intuition, while adapting to what the judges wanted (floaters,
apparently) to destroy Brazilian scrapper Heitor Alves, 11.33 – 4.03, in
Round 3. Again it took the best surfer of this event by far, Taj Burrow, to
take down Damo, in Round 4. And Gabe Kling? He surfed well enough on his
backhand, but had to deal with defending event champ and local favorite Jadson
Andre’s God-given shorey tube in Round 1, and he never regained footing to make
it out of his elimination heat. Gaber is now the fifth-lowest rated surfer on
tour, and is in desperate need of a strong result at J-Bay to make the mid-year
cutoff.
Seeing as East Coasters pretty much invented aerial
surfing, we’ll extend that metaphor to sum up Right Coasters’ collective feat
in Rio. The boys had mad pop, but their tweak was a little off and they
couldn’t stomp the landing.
It might’ve made for a good frame grab.
For full results,
photos, and videos, visit www.ASPWTRio.com.br
For updated standings and more ASP World Tour info,
visit www.ASPWorldTour.com
|
