|
At 2:38 a.m. U.S. Eastern
Daylight Time, amidst a bouncy, bubbling Rubik’s Cube of a lineup at Johanna
Beach, Victoria, Australia, 38-year-old Cocoa Beach, FL, surfer and nine-time
ASP World Champion Robert Kelly Slater won the Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach
presented by Snickers — the second stop on the 2010 ASP Men’s World Tour
— amassing 17.03 points to runner-up Mick Fanning’s 12.00, and tying Mark
Richards’ record of four Bells trophies. The win also lifted Kelly to #2 in the
Men’s ratings, 2750 points behind tour frontrunner Taj Burrow. The Champ did it
with a footloose 8.93 alley-oop, an 8.10 backup, and a fractured foot.
I had just made it home prior
to Kelly’s Round Four thrashing of Tahitian Michel Bourez, 16.50 – 8.00, eager to cheer on the East Coast’s last remaining hope
for an Oz victory, but the webcast audio was so screwy, I eventually had to stifle
the thing and settle on a Fugazi soundtrack instead.
Maybe that
was a good thing. Event commentators weren’t getting the most welcome reception
— their nepotistic musings, however unintentional, hitting a fever pitch
when tour vet Fred Patacchia incurred a $1000 fine for voicing his disdain over
the announcers’ favoring of World Tour rookie and Rip Curl teamrider Owen Wright.
If you didn’t catch Freddy P’s outbursts on YouTube, suffice to say, the most
toxic parts went a little like this: “It’s defeating to us before we even
paddle out. They got his testicles so far up their mouths. This is bullshit.”
Not to
mention, am I the only guy who cringes like he just brushed his teeth with
moonshine whenever that sweet yet totally ignorant Aussie reporter interviews
the losers? “You’ve gotta be happy with this result to start the year, eh?”
Really?
But by the
time Kelly held off Bede Durbidge in the quarters and embarrassed Bobby
Martinez in the semis (the most painful post-heat interview I’ve ever
witnessed) and Kelly’s final with Mick Fanning rolled around, Aussie tech
support had corrected the webcast malfunctions, and I was able to pick up on
three bits of Slates' wisdom, either relayed secondhand via commentator Martin
Potter or from the mouth of The Champ himself. And those three things told me
everything I needed to know (much more than any fluffy summation from the many “experts”)
about: 1) Mick’s defense of the title and Kelly’s goal for a tenth; 2) the
historical significance of Bells Beach on the ASP docket; and 3) KS’ strategy
against his opponents. Here they are, in order:
1) “You don’t defend a world title. You win another
one.”
2) “I want to pass the trophy around and let everyone here give
this bell a ring, because that’s never been done before.”
3) “Just
beat ‘em.”
Any other
commentary at this point is a non sequitur.
For full results,
photos, and videos, visit www.ripcurl.com
For updated ASP World Tour rankings, visit www.aspworldtour.com
|
